Rant.

I have come to the conclusion that the only person that will ever understand how I feel is myself.
I'm going to try and put into words how I fell, so if anyone reads this, I apologise.

I feel like I'm constantly in a whir wind of emotions that I'm feeling, or that people expect me to feel.
At school I act happy and cheerful and tell everyone that I'm fine, even though every time I see him all I want to do is cry. Im terrified of how people will react if they find out how i feel about him, which is why I keep it bottled up, and I know that one day I'm just going to break. On days that I do snap, I feel guilty for ranting to people, mostly to Sam, but he's the person that's closest to understanding how I feel.
After a day of pretending to be happy at school, I come home, just to sit and watch him comment on things on facebook, tweet, and wonder how I can text him without annoying him, endlessly trying to think of things that would start conversation.
Then I end up thinking of how we used to be, how things used to be so different, and how he used to care. Even writing this makes me want to cry. I feel like Noone understands me, there's Noone I can tell because everyone will tell me I'm wrong for feeling how I do, when all I'm looking for is for someone to tell me that's it's okay to feel like this.
I hate that I'm not over him, and I hate that he doesn't seem to care about talking to me like I care about talking to him.

I needed to get it out of my system, I apologise.