Lonely

I like drinking coffee alone, and reading alone.
I like riding the bus alone, and walking home alone.
It gives me time to think, and set my mind free.
I like eating alone, and listening to music alone.

But when I see a mother with her child, a girl with her lover, or a friend laughing with their best friend, I realize that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely.
The sky is beautiful, but the people are sad.
I just need someone who won’t run away.

Mixed Emotion.

Is it possible to have genuine human feelings for someone you've never met?

Currently feeling like I'm stuck in the middle of what my head is telling me and what my heart thinks.

Believe it or not, I've met someone.

This is a risky post to write, as at this moment nothing is going on, but there's potential.

Me and this boy talk 24/7, we have a laugh, and I feel like I can trust him enough to talk about anything with, this, of course, is all over phone conversations and Facebook inboxes.

Some people may say this is stupid or childish, but isn't this how most relationships start these days?

Anyway, recently we've been discussing the topic of love a lot, what we both think it means to be in love and how to go about telling the other party how you feel, and it has come to my attention that I may have some genuine feelings towards him.

I don't know how this could end, so another post may follow.

“Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.”

-  David Borenstein

 

Smile

You know what, Things are starting to look up.

I love being happy.
Many people that know me, the real me, will think that I am not normally happy, as i normally have some kind of drama going on in my life and theyre right, i do. But recently, I've realised theres just some things that are more important than drama.

Alot has happened, my ex got in contact with me last night and apologised for the incident which I mentioned in my last post. This was a shock to me, and an even bigger shock to find out that he was actually dating the said girl for a few weeks, until they broke up last week.
We spoke, I told him how angry I was with him, but I was strong enough to knock him down when he tried to have a heart-to-heart.
It hurt, because there was nothing more that I wanted than to get into deep conversation with him, about anything, like we used to. But I refuse to let him fuck me over again.
I still have feelings for him, and there will always be things that remind me of him, but im 14 and I must move on.

Talking about being 14, ITS NEARLY MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!
5 weeks today may I add, and I have a super sweet party lined up, but i'll get to that closer the time.
Also, I WENT TO ONE DIRECTION ON WEDNESDAY.
I didnt realise anyone could be so perfect, I mean! -

This made me so happy, Louis Tomlinson is sososoososososo gorgeous!

Also, All Time Low is in 20 days!!

Anyway, I feel I have rambled on to no-one for too long now, will post again soon!xo

'We all live in the gutter but some of us are looking up at the stars.' 

-Oscar Wilde